Should've Tried The Huddle House
10 October 2015, North Charleston, South Carolina
(Warning: Contains Bad Diner Puns)
An unidentified customer is a hero today after the attempted robbery of a North Charleston Waffle House.
Police say that a young man walked into this popular, semi-national greasy spoon and ordered up all the money in the till, to-go. An unidentified customer, possibly someone who hadn’t yet had their morning Joe, took exception to the suspect’s firearms-based shenanigans and used his legally concealed pistol to end the problem.
Like a good order of Waffle House’s delicious Hash Browns, the suspect was covered and subsequently capped by our Good Guy With A Gun. EMS took the perpetrator to-go and he cashed out at the hospital, presumably to spend eternity at an IHOP, May he rest in grease.
Waffle House Division Manager Brandon Rogers neither minced nor diced his words, saying that “No one was hurt, which was the best part. No one was injured…besides the suspect.”
An anonymous police officer didn’t waffle on the subject, saying “It’s [sic] says something about firearms [and] for good people with firearms being in the right hands.”
As of this evening it appears that cleanup continues and hopefully Waffle House is processing our hero’s Eat Here Free Forever Card.
Details are scattered, but we can learn a few things:
1. Most of you reading this will never have to deal with this. Many of you, our loyal readers and clients, will go your entire lives with that gun on your hip and never draw it in defense and that’s what all of this is about.
Your gun is not a talisman to ward off evil and should not be viewed as such. Your gun is the functional equivalent of a fire extinguisher or a first-aid kit. Nobody in their right mind WANTS to use any of them for the reason we bought them. But they’re there when we need them and will hold things together until the problem is handled or the professionals take over.
Will there be instances where your Extinguisher/First-Aid Kit/Glock are insufficient to deal with the problem? Yes. But nobody will fault you for being prepared for short-order problem solving; outside of NY, CA, HI, MD, MA, NJ, and IL.
2. For a good laugh, click on the Eater.com article and marvel at how even a foodie magazine stays in line with that last sentence. Unable to run this as a story about grease-loving diners using appropriate force to repel an assault as a good thing (Bad guy shot by lawfully armed civilian, nobody else injured) they were obliged to point out that guns are also used for bad.
Thank you, Eater.com. Nobody knew that because we haven’t been inundated with that message all week.
3. Speaking of inundation, a quick search of the Paper of Record, The New York Times, returns zero results for this highly-relevant news article. Neither does CNN.
In a subject such as this, one would think that impartial news organizations would write about this kind of event as much as the two shootings by most-likely-under-aged possessors of probably-illegal handguns on Texas and Arizona college campuses. If for no other reason than to provide some kind of context. If Eater.com felt compelled to do so out of some sense of journalistic integrity, how does the Times miss it?
Woe be unto such giants when a FOOD WEBSITE posts a better news story.
4. We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again: Don’t be paranoid. Be Ready. In this word of underfunded and overworked emergency response services, You Are Your Own First Responder. Act like it.