It’s Over, Anakin! I Have The...Salad Dressing?
23 November 2015, Jacksonville Beach, Florida
Florida Man Jacob Jeremy Mercer, 32, decided to commit an armed robbery. Maybe he had a habit to feed, maybe he was desperate to make ends meet, or maybe he just wanted some beer money. Who knows?
What we do know is that Mr. Mercer decided to grab his gun and his Darth Vader Costume and hold up a local convenience store. Sadly, The Force was not with him.
Despite having the distinct advantages of being disguised as the #3 Villain of all time AND a loaded firearm, The Dark Lord of the Sith was defeated by a pair of upstart clerks wielding only…
Bleu Cheese Dressing
That’s right. The only gun in this story is the one defended against. And we’d bet dollars to dustcrepes (google it) that it was not lawfully obtained.
We’re writing about this because this illustrates the values of teamwork and commitment.
While the Sithhead in the mask was distracted by one of the clerks was using over two forms of communication to refuse the demand for cash, the plucky second clerk got into a good throwing position and hurled the glass jar of salad dressing at Darth, hitting him harder than a piece of Cloud City and cutting his face badly enough that he fled the scene in a silver land speeder with New York plates.
This plucky duo committed to the assault and carried it out with precision far too precise for sand people.
This is what you need to do when you decide to fight. You may be outgunned, you may be outnumbered, but sometimes commitment is what will win the day. Fight with everything you have (in this case, salad topping) and you will be surprised at the results.
You may not always win, but it’s better than cowering in a closet bemoaning your lot in life until a thug with a blaster opens the door.
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