Hero-Fantasizing Gun Fetishist Opens Fire In Crowded Restaurant
23 December 2015, Miramar, Florida
The Weather Channel is reporting snow flurries in the formerly flame-filled regions of Hell and NORAD is reporting airborne swine after yet another example of the “Myth” of the Good Guy With A Gun was proven true.
The editors of Mother Jones and The Trace will be working overtime to ensure that the killing of a masked gunman in a Florida restaurant has appropriate “context” before their readers can form a different opinion on the death of Roosevelt Jones, 26, of Miami, who decided to threaten the lives of the staff and patrons of Captain Max Seafood Restaurant with a gun while he and a possible accomplice attempted to rob the place.
Unfortunately for Mr. Jones, an unnamed employee had already received his RDA of guff and, as he was now operating with surplus guff, gave back some of his now-excess guff…at 1000 feet-per-second
The restaurant worker employed lawful deadly force in an effort to stop another’s unlawful use of deadly force. As a reward for his bravery, he was taken down to the police station for further questioning.
One would hope that, as this Good Guy With A Gun was required to do the police department’s work for them by Being His Own First Responder and Stopping a Bad Guy With A Gun, he would be quickly sent back home with a high-five from the police and a raise at work.
The biggest thing we can learn from this? Aside from the fact that Captain Max’s must be great place to work if it inspires that kind of emloyee loyalty, we can again see an example of what will happen after you engage in a Defensive Gun Use: You may be arrested and spend some time in jail, you may still be charged, you may even be sued.
Still, beats cowering in a corner, quietly waiting your turn to be shot.
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