Houston Man Puts Hand in Pocket, Murdered by Anxious Gun Owner
25 March 2016, Houston, Texas
Another gun-humper’s wet-dream came true today when a gun-brandishing clerk at a Houston Family Dollar got his prayed-for chance to take a human life today.
Allegedly, a man walked into the store and demanded money. According to police, the clerk claims that the man kept his hand in his pocket like he had a gun.
Seizing on this flimsiest of excuses, the clerk decided to play the hero by putting everyone in the store in real danger by drawing his gun and depriving the supposed robber of his right to life by pumping round after round into the unarmed man until he died. He could have simply complied and called the police and nothing really bad would have happened to anyone.
Maybe, just maybe, the man was actually pretending to have a gun instead of just keeping his hand warm. We believe, with all our hearts, that he was probably just trying to get some money for food or school clothes. This man did not deserve to die simply to protect corporate America’s bottom line and gratify another killer’s ego.
Knowing how the redneck racist gun owners of Texas run things, the Grand Jury will no-bill this in about two seconds, totally disregarding the fact that the man was, at most, only pretending to have a gun. We call on Attorney General Lynch and the Justice Department to investigate this crime and see justice done by putting the real killer away before he kills again.
Of course, this isn’t the final word on things.
So, let’s look at the facts:
A man walked into the Family Dollar Store, wearing a mask, having or pretending to have a gun (the police will not confirm or deny it), and demanding money from the register.
The customers were convinced by the man’s presumed pretense of having a gun and fled to the back of the building.
The clerk, who had been previously menaced by a masked man demanding money at gun point, chose to exercise his right to self-defense.
While we project that the Gun Confiscation crowd will focus on the possibility that the attacker was unarmed and in need (as portrayed in the above satire), it’s irrelevant to the case. The fact that an assailant doesn’t actually have a weapon doesn’t matter. All that is required is for an assailant to create the reasonable apprehension that he is armed.
If he didn’t have a gun, he succeeded in creating the reasonable belief that he had a gun. He succeeded so well that someone pulled out what was definitely a gun and rendered him no longer a threat.
Having been robbed several times previously and having been pistol-whipped after complying with the robber’s demands, the clerk took it upon himself to ensure that he at least had a fighting chance should bad things happen at his store again.
This is what is referred to in progressive circles as “paranoia” and in realist circles as “preparedness”.
One would think that if the clerk fit the media stereotype of a macho, posturing, blustering gun owner that one of the people interviewed would have mentioned that. Something along the lines of, “[Clerk] was always talking about the gun he carried and that he couldn’t wait to shoot the next MFer who walked in the door and tried to rob his store.”
But apparently nobody knew he carried a gun. He didn’t pull it out at every opportunity or show it off. He treated it as guns are meant to be treated: as tools to be used when needed, not toys to be played with.
Kind of like your fire extinguisher. You have one. You know where it is and how to use it. You hope you never have to use it, but you know that if you do need it, that you will need it right then, right there.