Mark, 29, of Brandenburg, Kentucky, was viciously assaulted by a Rambo-wannabe after making the mistake of entering the wrong darkened house. Mark, a regular Joe like any of us, made a mistake any of us could have made after entering the wrong home, possibly under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or rampant stupidity.
Mark, perhaps not realizing he wasn’t in the right home, then committed further peccadilloes. Failing to find any of the light switches, he then accidentally picked up a large trash bag and a pellet gun, eventually knocking four other antique firearms into his bag.
And then, from nowhere, a vicious dog (Shadow, not pictured) attacked him, barking up a storm.
Given that he wasn’t expecting a vicious barking attack in what his probably-addled brain must have thought was his own home, he responded with reasonable force:
He shot Shadow with the pellet gun.
He stabbed Shadow
Then he shot Shadow again, this time with one of the antiques. The last gunshot finally silenced Shadow’s vicious barking.
Then, Ron “Rambo” Sheffield arrived. Not wanting to wait the few minutes (60 or so) it would take for an overworked, undermanned Sheriff’s Department to respond to a “possible” break in at a rural address, he drew his pistol and charged in to impose his manly will on another person, heedless of the fact that only police or military should even touch a gun, much less use it.
Sheffield charged in, blood rage at full boil, ready to kill. There he came face to face with little Mark.
Then, a strange thing happened. Despite being a typical American gun owner, Rambo Ron didn’t open fire. Ron, holding Mark and gunpoint, ordered him to the ground. Mark complied, channeling his inner Matthew McConaughey and stating, “Alright, alright, alright.”
Now, don’t get us wrong, there are over 30,000 deaths by firearm in the US. So Ron is indeed a very rare breed of American gun owner in not shooting someone.*
Mr. Jones was successfully arrested once police finally arrived. He was later released on $1,000 bond and a recommendation from the Justice Department that he shouldn’t be indicted, regardless of the evidence of malfeasance.
*Yes, we know that 66% of all deaths by firearms are suicide, and that most of the remaining (some 15-20% are gang-related criminal murders; but saying that less than 10,000 people out of the 300+ million Americans, some 0.00003% of the population, are shot and killed by criminals yearly; or that over 50,000 Americans use their firearms in a defensive manner was confirmed by the Obama administration rather destroys our anti-gun angle.