Chicago "Man" Playing with his Gun Results in Two Little Boys Wounded
18 September 2016, Chicago, Illinois
A 61 year-old Chicago man is facing no charges after two little boys received wounds, one to the head, on his proprty
The Chicagoan, a licensed koncealed-karry killer waiting for an excuse to “shewt him some bad guys” (or whatever it is overcompensating gun fetishists tell themselves) found the two boys playing in his home, which was being renovated.
Instead of telling the two boys to depart the dangerous construction area, or escort them home to their parents, the mass-shooter-to-be decided that there was no harm in showing these two scamps his gun, first.
Somehow, the gun went off.
The man’s negligent discharges flew wildly, but still managed to strike one of the little boys in the back and hand.
The younger boy was wounded on his head.
Both little boys are in stable condition.
Well, it’s been 10 days since we last wrote anything. This was mostly due to an influx of students and an Active Shooter course we’ve taught. So, let’s dive right in to the breakdown:
We used a lot of vague wording up in our progressive version, but what really happened was that the man went to inspect his home, which is under renovation. He noticed that the back door had been damaged and, because this is Chiraq, went in to see how much of his hard-earn property had been “involuntarily redistributed to the less-fortunate as a direct consequence of Mayor Emanuel’s many Progressive initiatives”.
On entering, he encountered something the residents of the South Side of violence-torn, heavily-Democratic Chicago rarely see: the burglars still trying to figure out what to take.
The burglars, aged 11 and 16, decided that the old dude would offer no resistance and attacked.
This was a mistake. The teen and tween failed to listen to their gang’s trainers and forgot that in a part of a city where people die young, old men are to be respected and/or feared.
The old man drew his sidearm and fired, striking the older boy in the hand and lower back. The 11 year-old is thought to have cut his head in the boys’ mad dash to save their skins.
Either way, this now presents some problems that the victim is going to have to deal with:
1. He shot a kid.
Granted, we have no idea how big this young man was (and we’ve recently met a 14 year-old who looks like a 23 year-old linebacker), but the fact that will be repeated over and over, ad nauseum, is that he was 16.
It won’t matter to some jurors OR the DA that they attacked an old man, so long as another cog in the Chicago Progressive Machine scores a victory.
2. He went into the house.
While it’s true that this is usually a very low risk maneuver in a city populated by professional criminals (most of whom are politicians) who know to get in, take stuff, and get out quickly, there is always the chance that you’ll be hit by some who are new to the game.
This guy was being burgled by, most likely, the newest of the new, but that will also not matter. He will be portrayed as a vigilante who went in looking for trouble instead of waiting for the police to respond in an hour or three.
3. He will most likely be sued into poverty. The boys survived their felony (though will most likely be charged with misdemeanors) and will have extensive hospital bills to deal with. In today’s litigious society, this means that their parent or guardian is going to be talked into suing the gun owner and the gun manufacturer for the boys’ self-inflicted injuries.
That’s right, we said self-inflicted. When you enter someone else’s property, without their permission, with intent to relieve them of their belongings, and then attack the homeowner, any injuries you receive in the course of said crimes are purely your own fault and should be listed as such. If YOU hadn’t been there and YOU hadn’t attacked the man, then you would not have been injured.